1. Under my advice修改成under my guidance 2. On wine grape修改成on the topic of wine grape, along with other students改成long withher teammates比较好。
Her good work太笼统，可以稍微具化，比如衔接前文说到的作为组长，是如何表现的。
Herleading role for propertask assignment and guidance benefit to her group greatly, during which she hasfully manifested… 3. Potential of a promising student语法错误，改成Potential ofbeing a promising student4. such as college students' summer social practice activity sheparticipated in at the Cofco Great Wall winery (Yantai) Co. Ltd.语义重复和表达不准确，改成suchas summer social practice of college students held/sponsored by the Cofco GreatWall winery (Yantai) Co. Ltd.5. Worthy of mention also改成Also worthy of mention is6. Good command of the English language改成Good command ofEnglish7. She should have no difficulty staying and communicating with peoplein your country. 语法错误，改成She should have no difficulty in staying and communicating withpeople in your country.。